The Points Someone With a “Obama 2012″ Bumper Sticker Would Make to Justify their Vote

So how bout’ this Barry Obama guy? Didn’t you hear, he’s doing great things for America and turning it around from what that awful hillbilly did.

What I love about him most is that in no way does he have almost identical policies to that hillbilly. I know this because I pay attention, to my t.v., and also my neighbor, who is wicked smart because he has a degree, plus he reads the New York Times, and New York’s the biggest city in our country so it’s probably full of smart people that can write what they want and I bet there’s a lot of good stuff to learn in there.

I think it’s great that he’s making this backwards country more European (Didn’t the founders want to call this place Little Britain or something?), and promising to give us what only a government can give us, like jobs, healthcare, better state controlled education, paved roads, electricity, food, money, freedom, liberty and order, just like that guy did in West Germany in the 1930s.

And he can do all of that plus more while balancing a checkbook and playing golf… a lot. This is great too. With just a few words from his lips he can make those greedy capitalist who invested their slave labor dollars in the stock market lose hundreds of points ( Billions of dollars) in a day just by uttering nonsense out of his Hawaiian mouth. And that just shows how bad ass and rich he is because he was nice enough to bail most of them out with his own money just a little while ago, and he didn’t mind loosing it to teach those pecker heads a lesson!

I like how he has never started a war, like the those damn republicans did, and he is helping that country Libya with the conflict its having. I think he’s also helping Somalia right now too. No democrats would ever do such a thing like vote for or start a war. He in fact ended the war in Iraq just like his campaign promise. Yes ha, he said so right before he got his Nobel Peace Prize and just after he sent 50,000 troops to Afghanistan to nation build with his own money. Not to mention all of the money he gives to all of those foreign countries out of his own pocket. He’s so benevolent and rich that not only does he help countries that will do whatever we tell them, or have something we want, but he’ll give even more money and A.I.D.s to their enemies. The guys just like a freakin’ saint!

I think it’s super important that he listens to the United Nations, because they know whats best for our country and the world. I mean with how good our government has treated us and how much its created and given to us, Doesn’t it make so much sense just to have one big world government? Wouldn’t that help bring food and freedom to the poor and rid the world of hatred and war? Wow, I literally just saw white doves flying over a rainbow when I wrote that. Just thinking about how great a world government would be makes me smile! I’m sure you will too if you keep paying attention to the media plus drink your public drinking water, because they add really good stuff in there to make you smarter. Like heavy metals and fluoride. My dentist is smart and he uses fluoride all day!

I also like how he tells that government agency the Federal Reserve (I know its a government agency because it says so in the name. OBV’s!) To print more money making all of the poor and middle class more rich. Plus it helps us pay off our debt that that hillbilly gave us. If only those stupid Libertarians would shut up about trying to End The Fed, they are so stupid. I think they’re terrorist. They shoot guns and hate taxes, and their leader is some looney toon who is always wrong about everything, Ron Paul. What kind of name is that? I mean the guy has 2 first names, he’s obviously a right wing fascist weirdo. I know I’m richer from stimulus and Quantitative Easing. I know because economist run the FED and they said that it is so, and you just don’t doubt a educated man, just like you don’t doubt government. They taught us that in school. And my teacher was educated, so you know what they taught me was right too.

I think its great that he’s tidying up government by making it more centralized, and taking away those stupid states rights. It’s so much easier to run a business from one location. Plus I think someone with a law degree would automatically know whats best for every state, more so than the people in that state. Could you imagine the chaos and poverty that we must of had before FDR, like a thousand years ago when America wasn’t so great? FDR was Barry’s grand dad for those of you that don’t read the Huffington Post. Which you should because it doesn’t get much more Americana than that. I mean the chick that started it is a republican from Europe. FDR was the savior of America during the depression. I know that too because I learned it in a public school. He also did a lot of really great things to help grow our government and make us like France. It’s obvious that Barry learned a lot from him.

Oh, and I almost forgot, fortunately this heat has me sweating so I remembered. He’s the only guy who can stop global warming because he knows Al Gore, and Scientist have always historically been right, and there’s no way that their data could be manipulated to be used to scare people into buying certain products or allowing certain taxes to be forced on things like AIR. Again, those stupid Libertarians and their crazy ideas like there is no global warming, or if there was it could be caused by a ball of fire 100 times bigger than the earth that they would conveniently call “The Sun”, or they take facts released by CERN and NASA that refute global warming and take them out of context by saying that CERN and NASA have released data that they found proof that refutes global warming.

Government is good and oil companies and car companies (except GM) are bad, plus people who breath to heavily. They should pay more in taxes. Government didn’t pave all of those roads, millions of miles of them, ripping up, tearing down wilderness, killing trees just so your idiot face can drive all over them. DUH!

I don’t see why we can’t just hire him for life. Some one told me it had something to do with the United States Constipation, but I didn’t really understand all that shit. So I guess all I can say is that you would have to be a complete moron not to vote for Obama in 2012.

Peace, Love and Recycle,

Joe Stalin, Super Enlightend Voter

ElLiberal Libtardo, California